Category Archives: Diary Entry

I don’t commonly keep a diary, but occasionally I experience a situation that draws me to write about it, as you’d expect I won’t post most of these publicly for the obvious reason, but the ones I do share are ones based on events that have all positively shaped my life over the last 7 years or so

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Diary Entry -Reflection on 21/12/2013

For the First time in my life, I found myself the inconsiderate one,

Generally its me, who has to put up with my friends, Inconsiderate behavior (ie smoking around me (I don’t smoke), inviting me to something basically just to use me as a chauffeur or the worst one ‘expecting me to participate in drinking games with a communal cup, just because everyone else there is’. 1st off I hardly drink and then only the light stuff, secondly I’m driving home afterwards, and thirdly ‘a shared cup’ that’s just so amazingly unhygienic.

Up till this point in my life, I’ve always considered myself the sane/considerate one, however one evening that all changed. I’ve always known I’m a bit or grump when i’m tired “who isn’t” and that I tend to rant on an on a bit about trivial things at times, but I’d never noticed myself being truly inconsiderate before this particular outing. worst of all, I didn’t pick up on it right away.

I have no excuse, I was extremely out of what I consider to be “my character” on this day.

Diary Entry -Reflection on 21/12/2013 Part Two “The Cause”

Sure I’d had a pint of beer before hand, and the heat of summer was getting to me. (erratic sleep, less appetite, not drinking enough water etc).
But nothing I consider a valid excuse for the way I behaved/acted with my friend that day.

So I started looking at other potential causes.

1. Learning to Lead: Perhaps I was being too assertive, My friend if anything is both shyer and more reserved than me, so for a change I found myself in a ‘alpha’ /lead role. This year trying to learn how to lead for the first time has and still is quite challenging. (apparently if you don’t want too remain a single guy all your life, at some point your going to have to learn to lead, women expect it.)

2. Problem Solving/Correcting All My life I’ve enjoyed solving puzzles, problems as well as pointing out glaring errors or things that don’t add up. Generally I am helping someone or at-least not doing anyone any harm with my observations (ie pointing out an error in a piece of writing or art) “perhaps I was too critical”.

Diary Entry -Reflection on 21/12/2013 Part Three “Realization”

Confidence: Another thing I’ve been working on in the later half of this year, for a similar reason to leadership. With increased confidence I am finding it easier to express an opinion, especially those contrary to ones just raised, however it appears this comes with unforeseen and previously unseen drawbacks.

Diet Change: for the first 26 years of my life I’ve kept an abysmal diet, I struggle to put on weight, so was always skinny but now I found myself wanting to gain weight “muscle mostly” so have changed my diet drastically and begun exercising for that reason.

Subconsciously now I somehow feel ‘superior’ to people that don’t exercise or eat properly and then complain how they can’t do or wear certain things because of the their figure or level of fitness. “Was this life overhaul making me less sympathetic to worries of people that didn’t ? (ie: me for 26 years”) Yes I believe it was ‘now that I realized just how easy it was’ I expected everyone to do it at some level and this fact scares me.

Diary entry – Social Media/Networking

Today it occurred to me .

The advent of Social Media in this information age, has actually hamstrung me and many people like me with less than fully developed social skills that would otherwise be obtained through networking via traditional methods. This lack translates to a lack of confidence which in turn prevents us meeting people in the traditional way (at a bar, club, even through a friend).

Don’t get me wrong i’m not a total sociophobe, I’m the captain of my works touch team and play social soccer once a week with the guys, so once I get to know people or am in a familiar place or situation i’m as sociable as the next guy.

But take me out of this environment, I become as unsociable as the NZ minister for education discussing the resounding success that is Novopay.

While the advent of social media is not solely to blame, it has become a large component of my everyday comm’s, ahead of phone calls, e-mail and even SMS now days.

New Long Term Goal: Break Social Network strangle hold.

Diary Entry -Future

What comes next, what am I supposed to do, should I be close to my life goals or far far away still.

When does the next stage of my life begin, will I find love, when do I make the decision that sets me off on the next predetermined path in my life.

Who am I supposed to be, am I supposed to be me or someone much much different, am I Vashau Taslet, Vaughan Taylor. Who made me me, can anyone make you, You!
Am I just one of many seemingly unique ornaments of the human race.

How do I achieve my potential, how does one define potential, have I fulfilled my potential, or does much more lie waiting within, yet to be discovered.

Where do I go from here, is this up to me, does where I was born, grew up and learnt to love, really matter at all.

The Future is near, the future is far, one thing that’s certain is I’ll be a part of it, though How long for,Where I’ll be and What I’ll attain,from the fruits of this future, and that of the past shall determine Who I’ll become, and How I will be remembered.

Diary Entry -Life of a Contractor “The Morning”

‘Not again!’ thought Vaughan as he rose out of bed. Yet again he’d wasted the perfect opportunity to make some serious inroads into the log jam of the mental To-Do list he had set the day before.

It was already 11:30 am on a Sunday and just like all the mornings before, he’d risen just as everyone else in his household were enjoying lunch. ‘Curse you Winter’ he rationalized before admitting too himself, that the real issue was that he was staring down a third week of disappointment.Prior to the weekend, he’d held on to the hope that his now former work, would honor their offer and have found the money they needed to keep him and his work mate on.

“The end of July, they’d promised us!” he reflected as he left his room and considered the prospect of joining the unemployment queue yet again, after barely 6 months as a member of his countries working class.

Blaming himself for thinking he’d be unaffected by the globe wide recession, he walked down the Hall as he pondered his next move.. To be continued