The NZ Landscape rarely gets captured as well as this
A must see in full screen
The NZ Landscape rarely gets captured as well as this
A must see in full screen
An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him.The waitress asks them for their orders.The truckie says, ‘A hamburger, chips and a coke,’ and turns to the emu, ‘What’s yours?’
‘Sounds great, I’ll have the same,’ says the emu.A short time later the waitress returns with the order ‘That will be $9.40 please,’ and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change and pays.The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, ‘A hamburger, chips and a coke.’
The emu says, ‘ Sounds great, I’ll have the same.’Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.This becomes routine until the two enter again. ‘The usual?’ asks the waitress.‘No, it’s Friday night, so I’ll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,’ says the man..
‘ Same for me,’ says the emu.Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, ‘That will be $32.62.’
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. ‘Excuse me mate, how do you manage to always pull the exact change from your pocket every time?’
‘Well, love’ says the truckie, ‘a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I cleaned it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.’
‘That’s brilliant!’ says the waitress. ‘Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want, for as long as you live!’
‘That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there.’ says the man.
Still curious the waitress asks, ‘What’s with the bloody emu?’The truckie pauses, sighs, and answers, ‘My second wish was for a tall bird with long legs, who agrees with everything I say!!
Look what my work mates came up with today.
guess my original photo’s quite a popular look  đ
“Clearly they are all, very hard at work”
My Short Story Sharing Service Ficly.com has now closed for Business.  As such I have now added each and every one of my works as a separate Blog Entry “Categorized” as to what series they belong to etc.
Enjoy.
For the First time in my life, I found myself the inconsiderate one,
Generally its me, who has to put up with my friends, Inconsiderate behavior (ie smoking around me (I donât smoke), inviting me to something basically just to use me as a chauffeur or the worst one âexpecting me to participate in drinking games with a communal cup, just because everyone else there isâ. 1st off I hardly drink and then only the light stuff, secondly Iâm driving home afterwards, and thirdly âa shared cupâ thatâs just so amazingly unhygienic.
Up till this point in my life, Iâve always considered myself the sane/considerate one, however one evening that all changed. Iâve always known Iâm a bit or grump when iâm tired âwho isnâtâ and that I tend to rant on an on a bit about trivial things at times, but Iâd never noticed myself being truly inconsiderate before this particular outing. worst of all, I didnât pick up on it right away.
I have no excuse, I was extremely out of what I consider to be âmy characterâ on this day.
Sure Iâd had a pint of beer before hand, and the heat of summer was getting to me. (erratic sleep, less appetite, not drinking enough water etc).
But nothing I consider a valid excuse for the way I behaved/acted with my friend that day.
So I started looking at other potential causes.
1. Learning to Lead: Perhaps I was being too assertive, My friend if anything is both shyer and more reserved than me, so for a change I found myself in a âalphaâ /lead role. This year trying to learn how to lead for the first time has and still is quite challenging. (apparently if you donât want too remain a single guy all your life, at some point your going to have to learn to lead, women expect it.)
2. Problem Solving/Correcting All My life Iâve enjoyed solving puzzles, problems as well as pointing out glaring errors or things that donât add up. Generally I am helping someone or at-least not doing anyone any harm with my observations (ie pointing out an error in a piece of writing or art) âperhaps I was too criticalâ.
Confidence: Another thing Iâve been working on in the later half of this year, for a similar reason to leadership. With increased confidence I am finding it easier to express an opinion, especially those contrary to ones just raised, however it appears this comes with unforeseen and previously unseen drawbacks.
Diet Change: for the first 26 years of my life Iâve kept an abysmal diet, I struggle to put on weight, so was always skinny but now I found myself wanting to gain weight âmuscle mostlyâ so have changed my diet drastically and begun exercising for that reason.
Subconsciously now I somehow feel âsuperiorâ to people that donât exercise or eat properly and then complain how they canât do or wear certain things because of the their figure or level of fitness. âWas this life overhaul making me less sympathetic to worries of people that didnât ? (ie: me for 26 yearsâ) Yes I believe it was ânow that I realized just how easy it wasâ I expected everyone to do it at some level and this fact scares me.
âCurse the Zimbabweansâ thought Zac folding his three of a kind.
The year was 3045 and surprisingly the game of poker still remained a mystery to those that played it.
The latest Global recession and biggest since the early 21st century, had begun to have a profound impact on every nation on the planet, bar one.
2945 was the year it all began, centuries after the death of Mugabe and mere weeks after the introduction of the then world Record âtrillion Dollar noteâ,the Zimbabweans just happened to stumble upon the one raw mineral that could save the planet from itâs apparently inevitable extinction.
A rare celery seed that when soaked in olive oil over time and in a sufficient volume produced a gas capable of canceling-out the effects of the green house gases that had been corroding the planet.
Overnight this discovery had rescinded their status as the worldâs poorest nation and by the end of the decade had made every single member of there resident population a multi-zillionaire.